Finding the Middle (Path)

Black and blue or white and gold?

It’s safe to say that “the dress” ruined (almost) as many relationships as Monopoly. It was, in a word, infuriating. How could anyone think it was white and gold? (I still can’t see it.)

In life, a lot of things might seem like “the dress.” I’m fair and my parents are lame and unfair; I’m good and my ex is evil. Why am I sad while everyone else is happy?

Our world has conditioned us to look for winners and losers, right and wrong. We love opposites.

But, the truth is that things just don’t really work like that. Most facts are not mutually exclusive. In many cases, two separate ideas can both be right.

The Middle Path

An author once told me, “the best bad guys have really good qualities.” They’re smart or cunning, charming or funny. Look at the Joker.

When we recognize that good and bad can be found in everything, we improve our understanding of the world and others. It makes us more flexible and accepting of change and adverse life events.

It turns out that everyone isn’t out to get you. There’s just another side to it that you missed.

But, when we’re so convinced that “the dress” is black and blue, it can be difficult to see the side of white and gold, to give those people validation.

Validation is a HUGE part of the Middle Path. It’s just as important for your parents to recognize why you want to go to that unsupervised rager as it is for you to understand why it’s “never happening.”

On the inverse, the Middle Path helps us to understand ourselves as well. We may feel altogether sad, but there’s probably something to be happy about. (Also, other people are sad too, even if their glamorous social media pics suggest otherwise.)

If DBT were a tool kit, the Middle Path would be your level.

The Middle Path at Blueprint Mental Health

Blueprint Mental Health specializes in adolescent DBT. We treat teens and young adults experiencing a variety of mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and borderline personality disorder. Further, we believe in the power of DBT when used in everyday life. This summer, we are proud to offer weekly DBT training sessions for teens and for parents.

For more information or to sign up, call (908) 256-6965 or e-mail



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